Top 10 List

Year's End

I love New Year's...it's a great big way to wipe the slate clean and go at it once again. Like Mondays, only a lot more fun and with great snacks! I got to go to lunch with BFF today, cleaned my stalls this morning and wear my way-cool purple shiny silk shirt from GW again. So it's already been a good New Year's Eve afternoon.

But to succinctly wrap it up, I'll give you my Top 10 Lists for 2010.

Top 10 Things for which I Am Grateful:

1. A personal relationship with the one, true God, through the person of His only Son, Jesus Christ. This has to come first, not because it should but because it is the filter through which I try to live, really. That doesn't make me better than anyone, or smarter or more spiritual. I am the chief among sinners, but thankfully, I am "on the line" and appreciate each time the Lord reels me in for a little one-on-one with the Holy Spirit, reminding me of the stupidity of "going it alone". I tell my children, the only hope we have is through Jesus. Hope for the future of our country, hope for our lives, hope for the dreams that are in each of us.

2. Loving, kind, well-mannered, funny parents. Yep, they're all that and more. I am thankful for their raising of me and their continued relationship which has evolved into a wonderful friendship, where I get all their best stuff! As I have posted here many times, my poor dad is still barn-building for me after all these years! And my mother will soon begin sleeping more peacefully, knowing that my kitchen/laundry/dog kennel/storage room will soon be completely demolished and replaced with something akin to a...kitchen!

3. Of course, HANDYMAN! I am what I yam because of him. Really. My parents got the first couple decades, but I grew up a lot when I met Handyman, because I wanted him to like me. I paid attention to what was important to him and I morphed! I gave up some of the goofy, girly nonsense and got serious about being a grown-up. I also read Debi Pearl's "Created to be a Help Meet" and learned how Biblical truths will always, always, always work--duh! And then of course, I read 17 years worth of This Old House magazine, so I can converse intelligently about moulding, spray-on insulation foam, underlayment, fiber cement siding and drip edge. ;)

4. My Bratinellas--all three of 'em. Because, well because I like them better than I like anyone else's bratinellas! They know me. They know my bark is worse than my bite and they know that I am trying to teach them things it took me awhile too long to learn...like picking up after oneself. They know Mommy loves Daddy the most and she's gonna do what he wants first. And they forgive me...thank heavens!

5. My awesome estate. Some might disagree with me, but it's wonderful in the summer, and terrific on dark, starry nights and pretty in the fall and wonderful in spring and even pretty in winter. It continues to evolve into something more terrific each year. And this year will be the biggie: New kitchen, back room stops being a storage unit and will become living space, with NEW back staircase, new laundry room, new mudroom. And I'm gonna make Handyman build a riding ring, pour concrete on the barn porch and frame up the tack room, so I can really ride horses again. (My dad better get back soon. There's work afoot.)

6. My critters. Goes without saying. Even on the most bitter winter mornings, IN THE DARK, once I get out there, I am so glad to be with them and feed them and rub their long, shiny winter coats. They give me something to get out of bed for...durn it! And the ones in the house are even better with that non-stop flow of love. Poor Handyman, didn't know what he was getting into. I promised him, once the kids left, I would be a crazy cat lady, who cleans the litter boxes. Next up, baby goats and bees!

7. I have this amazing, small circle of friends who are as faithful and loyal as anything I could have hoped for. When you're in high school, you think your friends are so deep and true and life-long and nothing could be further from the truth! You don't even know what life is about or what hard really is. When your friendships aren't about what any of you are wearing or doing, but about slogging on through devastating personal crisis or illness or significant loss and you keep linking your arms together and pulling forward and laughing whenever possible and taking care and not calling as much as you should...this is friendship. And I have been the beneficiary of some beautiful friends over the last decade or so. Women who I should get together with MUCH more than I do...who have been the sisters that I never had to grow up with!

8. In-Laws--I sure lucked out in this department. When I hear the stories from others, I almost can't believe the grief other women suffer. My in-laws have given me about 2 hours total of trouble in 20 years. Maybe less. In return, I have eaten at their table and opened their gifts and dumped off the bratinellas many, many times. My FIL is gone now, but I remember that a long time ago he told Handyman to get on with marrying me or he would do it himself!

9. My health. Of course there is no order to the things on this list. They're all about equal for me. But this would fall pretty high. Having walked through cancer, I feel stronger and surer and much, much more focused and I am glad for that experience. I recognize moments now and am more willing to sit and soak them up. I can just enjoy time for what it is. I regained a sense of wonder about much that was being swallowed up in the inanity of everyday American existence.

I am THANKFUL for the "broken" American healthcare system that allowed me to pick my doctors, and organize my treatment program according to what I wanted and needed. I didn't require the approval of anyone or anything. We pay our own health insurance, and for the majority of our medical needs, we pay for those too. My insurance company didn't give me one minute's trouble about anything I needed and I was NOT booted out. I didn't ask anyone else to pay for me and I'll be the first to join the group of "folks who don't want to pay for others' healthcare".

10. I'll be a little flippant and just say, that I love the internet. I love shopping on it. I love reading other blogs. I love reading the news on it. I love emailing my kids' teachers. I love skyping with my parents. I love watching old tv shows and movies, INSTANTLY. I love watching horse-for-sale ads on youtube. Okay, I love the White Knuckles dog video on YouTube. I even like Facebook, a little. The internet is awesome, and I hope the government keeps its grimy, greedy big paws off of it!

Leave me your list, if you wish!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My one fan (ccw) told me to my face the other night, that he was bummed that I wasn't blogging. Frankly, I'm bummed that I'm not blogging. I think about blogging every day. Then I think I must be pretty vain to think that my life is so entirely interesting that I qualify for daily blogger status. I mean how many times can you blog about where you have found socks? Or how many types of manure you handle in one day? (Bet I'd win.)

But really, the world is turning here at Netherfield. On Valentine's Day, Handyman's dad went into the hospital, and stayed for a long time. They tried to send him to a rehab a couple of times, but he got bounced back and then after yelling in my face that he wanted to die, he up and did just that.

It was my first up-close experience with death of a close loved one. I got to experience every single step of it, even the final end. I don't know how people go through this stuff without knowing Christ personally. What a bulwark it was for me to have God to rely on in all the various stages, with all the people I needed to help, in all the ways I was called upon to help.

All these decades of reading Dear Ann Landers and Carolyn Hax, and Billy Graham and all those columns in the magazines about life, have really helped. I was able to walk through those weeks without regret, saying what I needed to say and thanks to my dad, peeking during an altar call, I was able to reassure a lot of people that Grandpa knew Christ. And that was the ultimate peace for me and Handyman. We could say goodbye.

It was the first funeral I went to as a representative, rather than an attendee. And our friends came out of the woodwork--and what a blessing that was. You know how you never want to go to a funeral and you wonder if it's even worth your time...well it is. We were so blessed by the friends who toiled through an insane traffic jam to see us, just briefly--who bought us food because the stupid funeral home didn't even have a coffee pot that worked, who put on lunches for a huge entourage after the way-out-of-town burial--who colored with our kids in the funeral home kitchen so we could keep shaking hands. Note to self: remember how many ways you can be the body of Christ.

I actually stood at someone's bedside as they passed into eternity and I had absolutely no fear in my heart because I had said goodbye, days before, face to face, when he knew what I was saying AND because I knew he had asked Christ into his heart. Honestly, I always wondered if he remembered that he did that, and I probably should have talked more about it with him, but "that peace that passes all understanding" thing? It's real.

I could walk my kids through this first major loss of their lives with confidence in God and offer them peace for their broken little hearts.

Spring is coming now, I think. We have chicks in our attic room, with their mothers. We have contractors bidding on some alterations to our roof that are LONG overdue. My new horse is in training and I also have the opportunity to ride some other nice horses, to get legged up. #1 thinks she might get her drivers license this summer and #2 and #3 are going to school in the fall. Should be an interesting summer.

I have about 295 blogs in my head regarding the switch from homeschooling to public school, that I will be happy to unload at some point, but we're wrapping up some strep throat, orthodontia and raccoon attacks, so I really have to get out of this chair. Oh, and I didn't get pictures of the big crawdad I caught in the pasture this morning, complete with tail full of caviar, I mean eggs. I did release her into the creek and boy was she happy...

I haven't been posting because..........

because I gave up complaining about the weather for Lent! It's true. One of my daughters gave up wearing pants (which is wearing a little thin with her at this point.) I couldn't really think of anything I relished that I could possible give up, without harming someone else..."I won't clean the chicken house for Lent".

Then it dawned on me. I love to complain about the weather. It is the one thing I allow myself to complain about. I complain heartily. I complain about the weather with regularity. It is the outlet for the sarcasm I try to banish from the rest of my speaking day. I had to admit; I LOVE complaining about the weather.

And this state gives me so much material to work with. So, I gave up complaining abou the weather for Lent. It is a big sacrifice this year, because of the ridiculous statistics we are racking up here. But, I shan't go into them now.

Our life is roller-coastering right now as Handyman's father has been in the hospital since Valentine's Day. Two times he was sent out to rehab (after having a feeding tube put into his stomach). And two times he has been rushed back to the hospital. Today he is being moved to hospice. It is not going to be a long stay.

I am confident that he answered the call of Christ in the recent past and can rest assured that he will be free from his failing physical body soon.

Do Something Good for Yourself

Just want to say I am really getting a lot out of the Darren Hardy, Success Magazine e-workshop Designing the Best 10 Years of Your Life. I heard about this through I'm an Organizing Junkie, and although I am behind the schedule, I am doing the worksheets and watching the videos and I have learned a lot about myself.

One of the first installments talked about whether you want the next 10 years of your life to be just same-old stuff or something more significant...and I'm wanting to really achieve things in a lot of areas of my life.

If you want to turn up the heat on your plans, goals or just get some heat going under your kettle, I urge you to sign up and catch up. It's never too late to make a success of yourself.

Do Hard Things!

Oop! Ack! (Shameless Christmas endorsement ahead!)

As my old friend, Bill the Cat used to say so effectively.

I have been remiss in not reminding everyone to get out their editions of "The Autobiography of Santa Claus". In fact, now we/you're several weeks in the hole! Aaahh, just do like us and read a chapter at breakfast!

This terrific book covers all the bases! It smooths the link between Jesus and Santa in an inspired way; it covers the Santa's age issue, it covers the time travel issue, it covers the presents around the world thing and throws in great figures from history to boot. It even tells you what un-expected food you SHOULD be leaving on the mantel this year--hint: it involves caprines.

I didn't plan to like the book. I didn't even buy it for myself. I found in in my dad's pile a few years ago and wanted to see how they approached the whole Jesus thing. I was cynical and prepared to toss it back under the tree with disgust...

Didn't happen. I took it home, kept it and bought about 5 copies last year for a song on Amazon. I had a ball giving them away to friends. Wish I could find that same deal this year, but alas, no.

Get it. Read it. Love it. Not smarmy. Not trite. Interesting, sweet and worth reading each year.

just a little brag...

Yesterday, for at least the second time, a gray cadillac pulled down our LOOOOOOOONG driveway and came to a stop outside. Handyman was out there and recognized this as the Jehovah Witnesses that we have sent away before. They are very nicely dressed folks, with younger folks in the backseat, who seem to be the ones "on the job". I remember last time we sent them away I remarked that we should've told those young women that they don't have to "do that". That Jesus died for them, and no amount of works is necessary to save them.

Anyway, I didn't see the car until it was driving away, but I recognized who it was immediately. Handyman came in with a big grin on his face and sparkling eyes and announced that he had told them before they even got out that we were Christians, saved by the grace and blood of Jesus and that works were not necessary or enough! I said, "you told them that?!" and his eyes were a little, teeny bit teary and he said proudly, "Yes!"

I was so proud of him!! What a soldier for the Cross! I have always wished I could/would say that sometime and that big bugger beat me to it! I'm so proud of my big Handyman. Better than anything he could build here on earth are the seeds he's planted in the hearts of those people. I pray someday they can break out of the lies and find true salvation. All because my guy was brave enough to speak TRUTH!

PTL.

Some firsts...

I put $92 worth of gasoline in my evil SUV yesterday. I am sure that's the first time I've ever put $92 worth of gas in anything! I was very thankful to be able to put $92 of gas into my heinous, destructive ride, but shocked nonetheless. I wanted to yell to the guy across from me, who was pulling a trailer of mowers--"You can't pull a horse trailer with a Prius!" I am sick of being demonized by the liberal wackos because I drive an SUV. When there are natural disasters, what kind of vehicles do rescuers tend to drive??? Do hybrids rescue people or deliver medical care to the trapped? Probably not.

I paid $27 for a smallish-bottle of special shampoo for Reno--the free horse with dermatological issues. I didn't tell Handyman the cost, especially since I had paid $18 for a bottle of iodine shampoo at Tractor Supply. He would cork, quietly of course, as is his way. I simply decided that that was my clothing allowance for the summer...

#3 came through surgery very well. We had two really nice visits from leaders at our new church, also balloons and treats. She was the best patient on her floor. All her nurses and aides loved her because she was so sweet. She loved the computer on the articulating arm that could hang over her bed where she could play fairy games on the internet all day. I enjoyed the articulating arm computer so I could lay on my couch/bed and watch Dancing with the Stars while she slept. She is having understandable pain when going potty, but that will continue to diminish. We didn't go to church today because I didn't want someone else to have to take her to the bathroom and now she's sleeping on my bed, so it was a good decision. Although I am missing the sermon on Colossians. Also, last week the Pastor pointed out that Mother's Day is falling on the same day as Passover so we would be having a "Spirit-filled Mother" contest...which mom could get to church without sinning!! :) He said the prize would be a big Pharisee badge! LOL!

My parents went to see my grandma for Mother's Day, so they are gone to WVA. I want to know if they are going to ask her who she's voting for in the WVA primary. My grandma votes Democrat. If Satan were a Democrat, she'd vote for him. I'm thinking she'll go for Hillary, the whole scorned wife thing perhaps. My grandma was a scorned wife once too. But who knows...it's not the issues with her. She is motivated by promises that her favorite grandchild (male, age 23) won't ever be drafted and that FDR saved the world, so we have to stay loyal to the party.

I have been frustrated with my children lately...they just don't seem to try to do a good job at things. They are not motivated when it comes to household chores and are more than happy to do a sloppy job and get called back 3 and 4 times. I am tired of trying to think up logical consequences for all this stuff. I just want it to get done and move on. I am too task oriented, I know. But when I am muttering to myself about what's the matter with them, I think that's about what God must be saying about me. "I have explained this before. Does she never learn? Why doesn't she get it? Why doesn't she believe me/trust me? I have told her this over and over and she doesn't listen." You get the picture.

I like to read the obituaries. I know that's weird. Mostly I enjoy the loving mother ones. You read about their accomplishments, usually during times that were less than perfect in this country. You read about what their children remember about them and what they were known for. It helps motivate me to see the big picture and to choose what I want to prioritize around our house. We need more laughing, more hugging, more sparkling eyes...how can I get that and still have a clean house?? My dilemma....less sleep perhaps...

I am crossing a line in my life that will be thrown up at me for many years to come, I'm sure...I'm going to make my own laundry detergent. What with all the money going out to wacky causes (special dermatological shampoo for horses and cat bite ER charges), I've been looking into other ways to save money. I already shop at Goodwill and Ebay. I forego eating out and movies at the theater (my faves!) I yearn for Starbucks but never indulge. But I checked in at Biblical Womanhood on her Frugal Friday posts and was reading through the linky and saw the gal who loves her homemade laundry soap. So I checked it out. I actually like doing laundry, just not putting it away. But I am getting much better with that part. Anyway, I found this gal and read her story and her links as well. It sounds easy-peasy and they had all the ingredients at Kroger, so we'll find out!

The reason this is so memorable for me and will become fodder for all my future harrassment is that at one point in my mother's "return to earthy living" phase, she made her own toothpowder. I don't know if it was to save money or just to be healthier or what, but it was the worst! I mean, the absolute worst! My dad snuck toothpaste into the grocery cart to save us from it. We, of course, being the loving family that we are, have never let her forget it. So, I'm sure, this will be my Waterloo. I hope, however, that this will actually work. Whereas tooth powder just made me avoid brushing altogether!

Happy Mother's Day Mom! What goes around comes around, eh?! :)

Weather and warfare

Short of a national weather emergency, I really don't think weather gets much worse than today. I actually heard the weatherman on the radio announce that we might have "thunder snow". Yes, he said "thunder snow". Give me a stinking break. Thankfully, Handyman brought home the super-dee-duper, extra-large dose of sawdust last week, so Princess and Reno are safe and dry on their little beach island, munching their $7/bale hay--some of which they LOVE and some of which they tolerate. (Sometimes I sprinkle the leavings of the yummy over the flakes of the so-so to tempt them. Not that Princess has ever turned down a meal. This girl should be in a commercial for Jenny Craig.)

Anyhoo, since our sermon yesterday asked us to recommit to renewed prayer life and since I did recommit and since I did read my Bible and spend time really praying yesterday morning, you could pretty much guarantee that there would be a renewed spiritual focus on my house as a target yesterday, and not in a good way. I was pretty much able to ride it out, thanks to my prayer time and my recognition of spiritual battles. The dark one is not going to give up easily, and my arrows must have strong futures before them to warrant such attacks to keep them. I won't go too far but to say that God is faithful and strong. I was telling Handyman the other day, God doesn't guarantee that we will even see the fruits of our labors. He has called us to labor, that's it. I don't have to worry that I am responsible for the results. I just have to labor faithfully. I am positive that I am not as diligent or righteous as I need to be, and I'm happy to work on those. My position is just to keep working. He does the completing.

It's a freeing thought, really. I watch others fret and fuss and lather over things that they cannot control and I just don't go there. Sometimes I wonder if it's just that I am blissfully unaware or too silly to notice things, but I honestly don't think so. I am just the tiniest bit proud of myself to be able to compartmentalize things and say, "That's God's responsibility, not mine." That's a tremendous help for me.

Whenever I feel cornered about different situations, I usually just think, "Well, Lord, this is your deal. I'm doing my end, the rest is up to you. Can't wait to see what you've got." and within 20 minutes, there is usually a sea-change of emotion. It's tangible and I get to enjoy another miracle in my midst. Sometimes #1 asks me how I am sure that God is real and I don't have to hesitate. I have a couple of stock answers: There is no proof of any mistake in the Bible; Elephants have four knees and their udders are in the front; Giraffes' heads don't pop off when they drink; and most importantly, God has never failed me, ever.

Found this amongst my 389 unread emails...

A Life That Pleases God

By Micca Monda Campbell

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit." Romans 8:5 (NKJ)

Devotion:
The Tennessee Women's prison has an unusual baptistery in their chapel. It's a coffin. For these women, being baptized in a coffin is a powerful visual of their death and burial with Christ. Thereafter, the coffin, which is a permanent fixture in the chapel, becomes a daily reminder that they are no longer slaves to sin and enemies of God. Their old way of living is dead, buried, and gone; and they are now free to live a life pleasing to God.

This is such an awesome truth in ours lives that Billy Graham says, "We should meditate on the truth that we are dead to sin and alive to righteousness, until returning to the old way of living is unthinkable."

While it is true that we are dead to our old life, staying dead is another matter. Often, our dead flesh will raise its ugly head and try to influence our thoughts and actions. If we listen long enough to its demands, we suddenly find ourselves at the graveyard fervently digging up our old flesh, so that it can perform its sinful deeds.

Christians have a responsibility to put to death their old nature through daily surrender or else they cannot live a life pleasing to God. They will begin to think only of themselves again and ways to gratify their flesh. However, those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit will live a life of righteousness free from sin. Those who follow the Holy Spirit will not think about fulfilling the desires of the flesh. Their thoughts are occupied by God's Word, His ways, and purposes.

The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:8, "Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely an admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." So, what dominates your thoughts?

If we only think of ourselves, what we want and our rights, then eventually we'll find ourselves going down the wrong path, one that leads to a stinky life. On the other hand, thinking on things that are pure and worthy brings forth life that is pleasing to God and a witness to others.

If you are in Christ, then the flesh no longer dominates you, my sister. So stop visiting the graveyard. Instead be led by the Holy Spirit by dying daily to your old way of thinking and living. Then, the Spirit of God can create in you a pure life that releases a sweet, pleasing aroma.

Dear Lord, I confess that I often visit the graveyard to free my dead flesh. Help me to keep that person in the grave by yielding solely to Your Holy Spirit so that my life will be pleasing to You, in Jesus' Name, Amen.

Hospital Trip P.S.

Thanks for the kind/supportive comments regarding #3's testing at the hospital. I was neglectful in not mentioning that she did take a dose of Versed before the test and what a blessing that is. It is "conscious sedation" where she is still awake (barely) and aware, but then doesn't remember anything that went on.

She is completely unaffected by the whole thing--unlike me--who has watched/participated in it way too many times. I am thankful that she, like her sisters, will be completely cured once surgery is over. Our urologist told us that even 25 years ago, children were dying of this condition, without anyone ever knowing why!! Their kidneys would become damaged and fail and there wasn't any treatment.

Just one more evidence of God, for me. The mysteries of the universe are never solved, they just open up more amazing opportunities to see the hand of our Creator.

Grief and despair

From the highest to the absolute pits--today was a crappy day, in so many ways. Handyman went to work early and we all did our usual thing. At lunchtime, I asked #2 to help me take the "kitchen" chickens (say that three times fast) out to the barn as it was warming up. But before we got going, we fell into a discussion about the Great Depression and how it happened and what caused it, etc. I gave this amazing dissertation, simplifying the entire thing into a kid-friendly example of how banks can fail. I impressed myself tremendously and was thinking how "this" was homeschooling at its finest.

Then we headed out the door with fowl in hand(s). As we stepped out, #2 said, "Mom, there's a hawk!" and I looked and sure enough one flew out of the grass right outside our pasture fence, up onto the fence. We started going faster, shouting at it and it left and she said, "It's got something Mom. It dropped it. Oh, Mom, I think it's Sara."

I said, "No, I'm sure, no." I just focused on it flying away and when I looked toward the grass, I saw her. #2 was right. It was Sara. Sara, our beautiful little Sara, beloved by everyone who met her, was not moving, at all, in the grass. I cursed and ran on and told #2 to not look and stay away. She went on to the barn with my stupid old rooster, who has no toes and can't see and pretty much has a target on his back. I would have traded him in an instant to get Sara back.

But it couldn't be done. The hawk had done his deed swiftly and without error. Sara had not suffered. We would do all that. I just can't tell you how one silly little bird can make an entire family happy. She had more personality than all the others combined. She would hop up into your lap if you were sitting or onto your back if you were bending over. She loved to be put inside your winter coat, where she would happily take a nap. She would run to us and peck wet grass off our shoes or peck our fingers, hard, if we weren't paying enough attention. Even Handyman delighted in her.

It is a tragedy for us, truly. We received Sara as an egg, wrapped in bubble wrap, in a carton, wrapped in bubble wrap, in a priority mail USPS postal mailer. We stuck her under a broody hen and 21 days later, she hatched. They lived in our garage, in a baby pool for several weeks and then moved to the flower bed in front of our house for another month. When we would drive up, they would come out of the flowers like those guys in Field of Dreams. They would putter around and talk to us all day. It was a really sad day when we finally moved them to the hen yard. We missed them terribly.

Of course, both olders thought her death was their fault, as did I. Had we done any of a multitude of things differently, perhaps we could have prevented this. All I can think and tell them is that the Lord puts us through suffering to teach us. To teach us empathy for others who suffer and to help us recognize what He suffered in giving up His very son for us. Also, we looked for ways to be thankful. We are thankful that we got to have Sara, at all. To enjoy her life for almost two years. She was a delight and we all agreed that it was better to have known her and paid this terrible price than not to have known her at all. We've learned to appreciate each moment with someone. Pretty big lessons from a little bird.